Personal graduations.

My Pink Frames are the Best!

Ever since the semester ended, I've been adjusting to a lot of new changes. I really don't know how I want to sum up the past few months, but I think the best way to tackle the task is by creating a list and then expanding a little on each point. (This is what happens when I have to make lists for both work and school; it starts pouring into my personal life, too! Haha.)

Shawn and Kathleen graduated. I'm not a fan of going to big graduation ceremonies, but as it turns out, I had to go to two within the same month. Shawn had to deal with my bad mood that day (I feel like I kind of ruined part of the experience for him... Bah!), but it ended up going really well. He's completely finished with college and education for the rest of his life. I'm so proud of him, and I couldn't be more jealous. ^///^

Since Shawn graduated, he's been working full time for Kohl's Corporate. Whenever any of my family members, or one of our friends, asks how he likes his job, he always tells them that he doesn't really like what he does there. Even though he says that, I know he really likes it. He's been picking up a ton of responsibilities: going to meetings, being "on call" for days at a time, attending events held by his team, etc. Whether Shawn wants to admit it or not, he likes being needed for something. He really should feel that way, too, especially after all the work he's put into the past few years in school.

Kathleen graduated high school and has been getting ready for college. She's going to the same university that Beth and I are at, which I'm totally psyched about. <3 As happy as I am for her, I have to be honest about the whole situation-- it's been a tough few weeks for her and the rest of our family. We've all been going through some major adjustments and there have been a lot of hurt feelings. I'm not sure where I stand on all of the issues anymore, but I do know that I'm trying to focus on making Kathleen as comfortable as possible with her new living situation with Beth. It's interesting how so many changes in just Kathleen's life have impacted the entire family. Something like this has never really happened in this way before.

LA Series - Tara McPherson

My internship is going well.

As I've mentioned before (I think), I've had the luxury of killing two birds with one stone by taking on an internship while continuing to work with Six Apart. As it turns out, the extra responsibilities have made me feel more important-- like I'm doing something that matters. I have never felt so proud of myself before. Not only am I supporting myself (for the most part), but I'm making all my decisions by myself. Which leads me to...

I'm moving in with Shawn in a few weeks. Even though Shawn and I have lived in our current apartment together, with Beth, we finally found a place for just the two of us. We looked around for a few weeks, did some research, and then found the perfect place for us to live for the next year. I started getting a little stressed out when we were looking, because I hated the fact that I felt "homeless" but everything worked out in the end. The biggest challenge for us now is buying all of our furniture and still having enough money for rent. Like Shawn keeps telling me, we "have to take it slow." I guess I'm just excited about the idea of having an entirely new place to live with all new furniture. It's like I'm putting together a new family or something! ^__^ Slow steps are good.

I had to tell Dad that Shawn and I were moving in together. I had to do it. I mean, after all the years that Dad and I haven't been able to communicate, I had to tell him that Shawn and I were taking this step in our lives. Honestly, I wasn't worried about talking to Dad, but everyone else started to freak out about it. Mom even told me, at one point, that she didn't want to be in the house when I was talking to him. *sigh* Every other person I talked to gasped and made me promise to tell him/her how it went.

Elspeth's Cabinet

The thing is, everyone knows how difficult my relationship with Dad has been throughout my life. His Filipino culture is extremely different from my own, and hearing that two people are moving in together before marriage can tear people apart. There are little secrets to situations like this though: you have to know people. You have to know how they function, how they feel about certain issues, how they react to specific situations, how their thought processes break down information. I did my research and I made a plan.

Last weekend, I went home to talk with Dad. I walked up to him and asked him if we could talk alone. Within the next two hours, we stood there in my parents' bedroom talking about everything. I told him about Shawn and me, and from there we started talking about family and beliefs. Huge breakthroughs were made, and I told him that I wanted to fix everything that had gone so wrong in the past. I know that Dad and I don't have what Mom and I share, but I'm only 23 years old. I can be an adult here and try to fix something like a relationship.

A few times during our talk, Dad broke down. A while back, Mom told me that no one but her had ever seen him cry, and even then, it had happened only twice during their marriage. When he started crying, he told me he felt he was a bad father. And then he kept repeating the same story about how he had left to go on a vacation at a time when things in our family were finally good-- and then how guilty he felt about leaving for those few weeks. Even though I had little recollection about this happening (since I was so little), I felt everything he felt. I know how one guilty memory can tear me to shreds so I did the only thing I could do at the time. I listened.

Not everything between Dad and me is resolved now, but at least we have some of the issues out in the open. I told him that we need to talk more, instead of letting Mom be the messenger between us, and he agreed.

It's been an interesting few weeks. As always, I've been dealing with a lot of the stress by buying myself presents. *guilty look* I know I should be saving money for my new apartment, but having new dolls and accessories makes me feel so much better. They take my mind off of the stress. I'm trying not to repeat what happened last summer! So far, I've only had to take my stress medication for one week and I was able to stop after that. It's a good sign. ^__^

In a way, I feel like I've kind of graduated, too. Usually summer is a slow time for me, but so far, it's proven to be just as hectic as the school year!

Comments

[little wonders]

Congrats on the new apartment. glad the jobs are going well, and sorry that you've still got issues with your Dad, but I know you'll get them wrapped up and everything will be good.
Enjoy the summer.

[Wislander]

Sometimes you have to waste a little money our yourself, so it will be easier to save more down the road.

[Jamie]

Remember this You will always be Daddies little girl, and congratulations! and yes to the taking it slow in my mind its one of those things you really never want to fight about is MONEY and as you said your 23 you have a long time to get everything the way you want it, too many TV ads say have it all now!
It is nice to see a post from you its been a while and great to know life is treating you well, enjoy it 

[Lauren]

Thanks so much for the congrats, Jeff. I've worked hard for so long; I feel like all my effort has finally paid off!

I still have issues with my dad, but they're slowly getting better as the years go by. I've found that sometimes problems aren't really caused by the people... They can be purely situational as well.

Hopefully I'll be updating more and we can keep in touch more often! ^__^ I really hope you're doing well.

[Lauren]

Definitely. I love spoiling myself with schtuff. ^__~ Material possessions are important, haha.

[Lauren]

I don't know if I was ever a daddy's little girl. I think I was more of a daughter who he didn't know how to relate to for most of my life. We're moving past that type of relationship right now, so that is a positive thing.

I've had a million ideas for posts to make on Vox, but I felt like something was missing every time I pulled up the Create page. *sigh* I have this thing where I only write in my blog if I feel that it's the absolute perfect time to do so. If I have any doubts whatsoever while I'm writing, I immediately delete the post or mark it as private. x__x It's a personal quirk, I guess!

If you read this reply, how are you doing these days, Jamie? How's life been?

[Jamie]

I could complain but don't really want to be that type of person! waiting for the free concert for ladytron on Friday night will see how long my body last before I have to call it quiets on that.

But have most of all been enjoying myself reading peoples post her on vox living vicariously through others every day blogs on life.

so I guess I should say I have been surviving Life been a long strange trip and its not over just yet! 8-)

[Pixie Wildflower]

**Big Hugs**  Sounds like things are going well.

[Virna]

Whew. That's one tough summer.

Yes, Filipinos are really quite conservative. *Sigh* BUT it doesn't mean that they're not open to new ideas. ^^ Goodluck!

[Lauren]

Oh, awesome! I hope the move went well for you. Even though the whole moving process can be stressful at times, I think it's totally worth it. Whenever I've moved in the past, I always feel so accomplished after it's over with! ^__^

Yeah, my dad tried to explain to me that his culture is very conservative. Haha, he didn't have to tell me that after growing up in my house. ^__~

Thankies for the encouragement. *huggies*

[Lauren]

Yes, things are going very well right now. I think I'm in an especially good mood because of the nice, long weekend! Tee hee. I love holidays. ^^;

Many hugs back to you, sweetie.

[Lauren]

It's so weird how summers used to be the calmest times in my life. Now it seems like they're the most hectic-- the times most full of change!

Yeah, even though I knew my dad would handle the news fairly well, I was rather surprised at how accepting he was towards it. It's definitely a good sign.

[Pixie Wildflower]

I hope you have a great weekend.  **BIG HUGS & SMOOCHES**

[Brandy]

OMG. You know I'm getting too many friends when I miss your entry!! :(

Congrats on a new start/new home! I'm so happy for you. Be patient with each other, the first year is weird when moving in your with bf. And Congrats to your sister!! Now debt, yay! haha

What did you buy? I got a Canon Rebel Xsi as a present/tool for myself.

[Monica]

Congrats on everything. :) I buy myself stuff when I'm dealing with stress too. XD Your LA dunny is kawaii! I bought my first dunny a couple weeks ago, they're awesome. ^w^

[Lauren]

It's oh kii, hon! I know how big neighborhoods can grow on Vox, and it's really easy to lose track of older friends. ^__^ It seems kind of backwards at times, but it's just the way the blogging world works.

Thanks for the congrats. I've always been pretty good with being patient, but I can feel myself ready to burst at times lately so I'll definitely have to work on that.

I bought a new Latidoll. She was a limited so that means she was more than pricey. ^__^" But she was completely worth it. Her name is Elspeth and you can see photos of her here. <3 She's actually staying at a friend's house right now getting her faceup redone. Instead of that peachy glow, she's going to have a very special pink one.

Congrats on your new camera! Man, all of the Rebels are fantastic. I bet you're having tons of fun playing around with it. I'm so envious right now!

<3

[Lauren]

Thankies so much. ^____^ Isn't buying stuff a great way to relieve that pent up stress? I have no doubts about my spending lately, tee hee.

I love my LA Dunny. *squee* He's my favorite of all my three inch ones, probably because I'm head over heels for all of Tara McPherson's work. *__*

Congrats on your first Dunny! My first one (Series 2 Filth) holds a really special place in my heart and I bet you feel the same way, heh. Just wait until you get hooked on the eight in ones. I have to say that my Bubble Yucky is my all-time favorite.

[Kristinitis]

wow Lauren. you have so much going on and so much on your mind!

If I can over 'be there for you' or if you ever need a friend, please come talk to me. I love our chats. I always feel really good after we catch up! I'm glad you had a talk with your dad. It was long overdue. I remember your stories about him from two years ago -- so I hope things do change between you two for the better.

Why are people upset about Kathleen graduating? Are your parents nervous or upset because they will be 'empty nesters' without her in the house?

P.S. -- what did you mean when you said at the very end (about your money with your dolls) that you don't want what happened last year to happen again??

[Lauren]

Yeah, I have a lot going on right now but the hectic pace has become so much of a normality these days that I don't notice it much anymore. ^^

Thankies for the offer to talk sometime. I'm actually doing pretty well right now, especially with Shawn here to vent to whenever I need to get something out. If I ever need someone else to chat with, I'll make sure to keep you in mind!

Hmm, people aren't exactly upset with Kathleen graduating; it's more like Kathleen's graduation is the culmination of several big changes happening all at once within our family. And that's what has been causing so much to happen between all of us right now. It's too complicated to get into the details in a comment, but I'm thinking of expanding more on everything in a future post. I'm not sure yet, tee hee.

When I mentioned that I don't want the same thing to happen this year as last summer, I was referring to what went on in this post. If you remember, I had a few health problems because of huge amounts of stress. (-__-) In this post, I was just saying that buying dolls and other toys help relieve some of that stress. They help keep my natural balance in order. <3