Kawaii

Winning at something called "life."

Swinging Spring

One of my last semesters in college is almost over with, and I feel pretty happy with finally being able to, as Mom keeps saying, "see the light at the end of the tunnel." I think her optimism is in the family blood; I'm feeling more confident that, yes, graduation is possible. Senioritis hit me about two years ago, and it hit even harder last semester when I had to learn how to juggle my job with my classes. This semester seems a little less stressful, but I'll be just as happy to get it over with as I did in the winter.

As graduation draws nearer, my plans for life are falling into place. (It seems vague to say "life," but I'm learning to deal with how plans for the future are pretty vague most of the time anyway.)

My very last semester of college will consist of three English classes, all of which I have charted out at this point. My summer is going to be taken up by working more full-time hours again, and I'm hoping to turn part of my hours into an internship that's required for my English major. Turning a few hours into the internship will save me a lot of stress during the school year. In fact, I was worried I would have to somehow drop something in order to fit the internship in, but it looks like everything is working out for the best after all!

The best part about this whole working hard thing is planning for what I want to do after graduation. Shawn and I are currently working (and saving money for) an apartment for in a few months. Since Kathleen will be coming to live with Beth when she starts going to our university, Shawn and I decided it would be best if we started to branch off into our own little world. A few years ago, I would have thought moving in with a boyfriend was a big step, probably because of all the hype from silly TV shows and dramas. Honestly though, I've learned that a step like that can be simple if a couple is ready for it and really wants to progress in a relationship. This September will mark my six year anniversary with Shawn so planning for the future isn't just a plan; it's what I've been working towards for a good chunk of my life.

A Simple Everything

Shawn told me something that meant a lot to me the other day. Now, I'm not the one for mushy statements. We were standing in the kitchen making dinner together a few weeks ago, and we had been discussing something about his job. I think he was complaining about a few assignments he was given to do, so I turned to him and asked how he could put up with some of the tasks that his everyday job demanded of him. He turned to me and said, "Well, I do it for you. Actually, everything I do is for you." Hearing that made my mind wind back to a few years ago when he told me that if we hadn't started dating, he would have joined the army. He felt that he didn't have anything else to do in life so he thought he would try to look for meaning in some other form of work. Something like that didn't seem so profound to me until I casually told Mom about it during one of our conversations. She told me that a guy telling his girlfriend that says that he's living for that girl. And it's true. Shawn letting go of certain things in his life and choosing to work an office job would have never happened if we hadn't started dating. He's chosen to live his life with me, and everything he does-- from running to the store for soda because I have a caffeine headache to keeping a desk job and working long hours-- is for me.

Timeless

I've thought about what Shawn has done for me a lot. So now, I feel like I have a reason for graduating and working towards finishing college. Even with all this busy work going on now, at least I know that something good is coming out of all of this. After we stay at our apartment for about six months (so until I graduate), we're going to be finding a really nice apartment and then save up for a house. Jokingly one day, we started to look at house ads online. After we browsed some beautiful homes, I realized that a beautiful home in a safe neighborhood is something that I do want to work for, even if it means working this hard. Who knew a future was possible? I didn't, until recently.

And sometime after we graduate, and some more time after we live together, we'll decide to take the next step. Marriage is an idea that many, many people have asked us about over the years. In fact, I think everyone else is eager to hear about a wedding announcement from us, but we've just decided to take things easy-- one step at a time. We're planning though, and we've found that confidence in our relationship is our marriage to each other. An official engagement will come in time. For now, all I need is this pretty amazing reality we're facing together. It's a pretty damn good reason to keep working and living.

And that's pretty much where I'm at right now...

Yukimo, what's wrong? Please tell me...

Yukimo, My Everything

I'll say it straight out: I'm worried about Yukimo. For the past few weeks, she's been having "womanly" bleeding. She showed the same thing a few months ago, but it only lasted a day or two. After doing some research back then, I found that dwarf hamsters don't have regular menstrual cycles; girls actually only have a period maybe once in their lives, and the period only lasts for a day or two.

Yuki's problems seem a bit more serious though. Within the past few weeks, there's been a lot more bleeding in that area-- to the point where she leaves little trails of blood on whatever she walks on. The bleeding isn't continuous though. It lasts a few hours and then stops anywhere from a few hours to a few days.

I decided to do a little more research this time, and I found a very helpful thread on a hamster forum. That girl's hammy experienced the very same symptom as Yuki. In fact, my situation sounded identical to what was posted in that thread. From what I've discovered, it sounds like Yukimo could either have an infection or a tumor, but the only way I would be able to find out is if I take her to the vet (something that I am against at this point in time). The vet could give her antibiotics for the infection, or he could recommend Yuki having surgery. Honestly, I would never give such a small animal surgery, especially Yuki. She's lived a long, happy life and I know that putting her through something so traumatic would most definitely hurt her more than anything else.

A Yuki Hobby: Storing Seeds

In the past, I've had hamsters and guinea pigs who have also displayed health problems. Whenever I took one of them to the vet though, they died shortly after the visit. The main difference between Yukimo and my past pets is that Yukimo isn't super sick like they were. When thinking back, all of my piggies and hammies were deathly ill, ready to pass on... so I suppose it isn't extremely weird that they died. I guess that one of my worries is that something will happen to Yukimo if I take her to the vet. She's so small and trips never sit well with her. If anything, I can see something about the trip making her nervous, which is the last thing she needs right now.

The good news about Yuki right now is that bleeding is the only thing that seems to be wrong with her right now. Other than that, she's as happy as ever in her one and a half years! She's running (well, trotting... since she's getting pretty old now) in her wheel almost every night. She's eating great and getting a good amount of water every day. She's active whenever I hold her. Of course, the only real things that are different compared to when I first brought her home is the fact that she's a bit slower than before. Instead of walking, she wobbles around. Instead of running everywhere when she's outside of her cage, Yuki likes to walk around and sniff things when exploring. She doesn't have that teenager-like mindset that makes her think she needs to do everything at once. She just likes to explore things-- in a more mature fashion, tee hee. Boy, that hamster wisdom has really kicked in!

So, despite her current health situation with the bleeding, Yuki is doing really well. I think I'm going to try to speak with a vet to see if there's any way I can get antibiotics for Yuki (to see if she has an infection) without taking her in to the vet. I just want to make sure I cover all the bases when it comes to keeping my little hammy healthy. She's had a great and happy life so far; I want to make sure she continues to have one for however long she's still with me.

Yukimo Hops!

I thought I'd wrap up this post with a very funny video I took of Yukimo back in early January. I had been staying at my parents' house for a week or so, so that meant that Yuki was on her own at my apartment for a few days. I made sure to stop in, check on her, feed her and clean her cage so that she knew I was still around. Needless to say, Yuki showed how much she missed me... by hopping around with a piece of lettuce! (And yes, that's me narrating, along with Kathleen. ^__^) 

I love you, Yukimo.