Kawaii

I'm a creative mess, and I love it.

I Challenge You

My hair is so freaking long now. I'm very tempted to get it cut, but I'm resisting that temptation because I know it will just grow out to be this long by the time classes start up again. Now that I'm earning my own money, I'm beginning to realize why cutting back on "unnecessary expenses" is very, very necessary.

I asked Beth why my hair was growing so fast in such a short amount of time, and she suggested that my birth control pills could be responsible. I'm happy that the pills are helping the pain from my Endometriosis, but I wish some of the side effects could be a little less severe. I've noticed my hair growth rate increasing, weight loss and feelings of horrible nausea early in the morning. The nausea only lasts for about an hour, but the sick feeling is still something I've come to dread. I always try to sleep through it, rather than wake up and sit through it alone.

The hair growth and weight loss are side effects that I've come to deal with, and I don't really mind them. Ever since I switched from the first birth control pills I was on to the brand I take now, I've been much happier and a lot more energetic. (At least, that's what Mom tells me every time she sees me when I go to my parents' house.) The weight loss is something that Shawn's been worrying about lately, but I'm trying to make sure that it doesn't get serious in any way. I don't like it that he has to worry about me in that way.

Creative Mess

A little over two years ago, I went through a major life change that affected the way I live-- mentally and physically. I'm not going to go into too many details right now, because I plan on writing a post dedicated to staying healthy in the future. My little "life story" kind of goes along with that post. For now though, I'll just say that a lot has changed in the past two years. I was never "bigger" in any sense, but I did have a little extra weight that was unhealthy for me in an emotional way. I wasn't happy with who I was and I couldn't grasp that fact at the time. After realizing that I needed to make a drastic move, the new, healthy part of me started to slowly take its rightful place in my life. I went from weighing 128 pounds to weighing 104 pounds. The loss of weight was slow, so in no way did I just drop the pounds.

The weight loss was completely unintentional. I never thought I was fat, but now that I look back at those days, I realize that I just wasn't the best person I could have been-- I wasn't happy with who I was, which makes me think I was "fat" with unhappiness. Now that I don't eat greasy or fast food like I did before, and now that I watch what kind of meat I eat, I feel fresh and clean all the time. When I first started taking the birth control pills, my doctor warned me that there was a chance that I'd either gain or lose a few pounds, which made me feel uneasy. The very idea that I would be changing who I was, yet again, just didn't sit well with me, especially since it didn't seem like I'd have control over my own body. After seeing that I have control over how I feel now, I don't feel as threatened by the pills. If anything, I feel more in charge. And I'm definitely in less pain! 

Innocent Mess

Another factor that may be weighing in *chuckle* is the amount of work I've been putting into my life. Never have I been so adament at making sure that I'm kept busy during, what used to be, a vacation time. I grew up spoiled with the idea that Summer break means lazying around the house all day, but now that I actually have life goals for myself, I want to make the best of my time by working towards something I love. Knowing that I get to help maintain an amazing blogging site every day makes me so proud. I'm proud because I finally have a job that I enjoy doing, and I get to use my experiences here to throw myself even further into the adult world-- along with the dream of someday having my own life with Shawn. My future with him is what's keeping me going right now. He gives me reason to want to do well.

That's why I owe a lot to Shawn right now. I recently found out that I will be an official Six Apart employee who works full-time! I've been taking on more and more responsibilities with Vox ever since I started, and even though everything with my job has seemed to go extremely fast, I'm happy to know that I get to incorporate myself even more into the blogging network through such a great company. It's nice knowing that what I'm giving to my team and to Voxers really matters and makes a difference. My main objective right now is to get through the school year and then, hopefully, go full-time for good. (I'll have to cut back on some hours when classes start up, but I still plan on trying to maintain a regular work schedule.)

Knowing that I'm working hard has made me smile more than anyone can imagine, and it's made Beth, Shawn and Mom even more proud of me. That's something that means more to me than... anything. Life is good right now-- busy, but oh-so-good.

I wasn't planning on making another post until my Kawaii event, but as it turns out, the "secret packages" that are on their way to me are taking longer than expected. They should all be here within the next few days. I didn't want to fall out of my good routine of posting, so here I am!

Preparations for a special Kawaii at Vox event...

Or are they? A very special anniversary is only days away, and I will be spending quite a bit of time preparing for a Vox event to commemorate the day. For those of you who have particpated in past Kawaii at Vox events, you know what's ahead! This event, however, is going to be a little different from the rest, so be expecting some surprises along the way. ^__~

I won't be updating Kawaii very much until the special day, but I'll be here at Vox, reading your posts and commenting like crazy. Just know that I'm still here, catching up with your lives and working on something fun for everyone in the process.

Let the countdown begin!

So this is Lamb, my newest Blythe. (Say hello!)

This Is Lamb

I wanted to dedicate a quick post to my new Blythe, Lamb. She just arrived yesterday, and I had a chance to take photos this morning-- I snatched up the few minutes before my shift started. I was really happy with the results. Her pale, pale complexion looks so beautiful against her baby pink hair. I've been waiting for a Blythe to be released with pink hair. Seeing the Prima Dolly Peach (the stock name for Lamb) release gave me the shivers, and I knew I had to have her in my dolly family.

Sadly, a Blythe as pretty as her means that I lose a lot of money at once. Lamb was totally worth it though!

Receiving a Blythe so pricey in the mail always makes me wary at first. I feel the pressure of having to take care of Lamb more than some of my other girls because of how rare she is. (Only 500 were made; she's an exclusive Blythe release.) I took a risk and decided to iron her hair straight as soon as I unpackaged her. I've had experience with ironing some of my other girls' hair so I didn't feel too nervous about this "attempt." And everything, thank goodness, turned out for the best. Lamb's hair looked better than the promotion photos released by CWC, and it was extremely fun to style. I couldn't be happier right now.

Like Lamb Lomo

After cosntantly primping and looking at Lamb, I've discovered some little secrets about her. So far, I know that she's hapa (like her mommy!), only she's mixed with an Asian background (I'm not sure which one yet) and with a flower child background. *grin* I wanted her "ethnicity" to be unique, so I threw that flower child curveball into the mix. She may look shy, but she has an air of being chic about her.

I decided on "Lamb" for her name because of her soft features. I don't have a lot of girls that reflect as much grace as Lamb and Pigeon do, so I'm thinking that the fact that their names are related to pretty animals has something to do with why I chose them. I'd eventually like to have a photoshoot for both Blythes, but I'm waiting for the lighting to be better. (I hate forcing good photos out of a crappy day outside.)

And on completely different note, I'd like to express how excited I was about receiving the photo spot in the This Is Good box on the Home and Explore pages on Vox. I literally couldn't stop smiling. Little surprises like that make me giddy.

Pale & Pink Lamb

Sweet Lamb

Deep in the land of Twitter and rock stars.

My Twitter

I never thought I'd get into Twitter, but alas... I couldn't resist. The main reason I decided to try Twitter out is because I wanted to experiment with my Vox sidebar widget. The entire application turned into a small phenomenon with me overnight. I had remembered Twitter being mentioned all over Vox, so I thought I'd give the cute site a shot. Who knew how fun updating my status could be? I knew everything was meant to be when I saw that the user name "milks" was up for grabs.

My milks Twitter is now up and running, and my sidebar looks all nice and pretty with the widget. I am one happy Voxer.

For anyone that isn't familiar with what Twitter is, check out the main Twitter page to browse the current happenings or to sign up. Either way, I think you'll find yourself having a good time with all the kawaii icons displayed all over the place. I didn't know that Twitter was so popular in Asia, but from the looks of it, more people are signed up for the application there than in the states. o_O

My Twitter Widget

Before I put up my Twitter widget in my sidebar, I wanted to make sure every single detail on my Twitter profile page looked just right. I had been home the day I set up my account, and none of my parents' computers have Photoshop on them. (I didn't feel like downloading a trial version.) Instead, Shawn was nice enough to follow the layout I drew up. The sketch involved Twitter's basic layout, Roonies and Meep, and lots of pretty bubbles. Whenever I have a profile or a descriptive area on website, I have to make sure it's absolutely perfect as far as design goes.

Unfortunately, how my background image appears on Twitter depends on the screen resolution on the computer it's being viewed from. So, depending on your computer screen, my profile could either look kickass or only "eh."

Edit: I forgot to mention that adding a Twitter widget in my sidebar required me to edit the dimensions in order to make sure the entire application fit without getting cut off on the edges. If you're interested in adding a Twitter widget (or any other widget that's slightly oversized), all you have to do is change the length or width to smaller numbers. There were two places in my widget's embed code that needed to be changed, and I believe I used the width of 160px to make mine fit nicely into my sidebar. Message me for more information on how to change the dimensions if you're having difficulties. ^_^

In other news, the Lovedrug video that Beth went to Chicago for a few months ago was finally released! (You can hear more about her experience in this post.) I was shocked when I first saw the video, because there's a clip in the very beginning of the song that is focused directly on Beth's face. She winks at the camera and smiles-- it couldn't be more perfect. My little sister is a true Lovedrug star. At least, she is in my eyes. So, without further delay, here's Lovedrug's newest music video, "Pushing the Shine," featuring my totally awesome sister, Beth.

Lovedrug: Pushing the Shine

And as a final note, I would like to give every Voxer who reads this post a little heads up on something. Within the next few weeks, Kawaii.vox.com will be hosting a very important event that will involve the biggest surprise (and prize) yet. So, please stay tuned for future posts with information on Kawaii's newest event!

Sparklers bring that feeling of nostalgia.

Quirky Jillian

I never really treated the fourth of July like a huge event, mostly because my family never really thought of it as an important holiday to celebrate with parties and all that jazz. The most we would do when I was little was sit out on our lawn or driveway with one or two members from Mom's side of the family. (They lived right down the street from us when we lived in Illinois.) When we all moved to Wisconsin, we started going to fireworks at a huge park near our house, but when I got into my teens, I decided that it just wasn't the thing for me. Shawn and I started to make our own tradition of spending the day together instead.

One thing that has always remained and been with me on that day is using sparklers. When I was little, I kind of felt like sparklers were mini fireworks that I could hold in my hands. I mean, seriously, those are even better than the real thing! Every time I hold one, a thrill goes through me-- the very idea that I'm that close to something that's seemingly "out of control" is exciting.

 

Mesmerized

I decided to go home on the fourth of July to get those old vacation feelings back. It's rare that I get to spend time with Kathleen, and it's even more rare to see my friend, Kelly. Kelly and I grew up together, and before I realized that sisters could be best friends, too, Kelly and I had the sister/best friend relationship. We did everything together. Now that we're in college, we only see each other (mostly) on our birthdays. Kelly's birthday happens to be on the fourth, which actually gave me the chance to experience what I've considered to be a fourth of July tradition for me in the past few years. Seeing Kelly and being home gives me that same feeling sparklers do; I get to be with my family and experience that thrill of everything new in my life all at the same time.

I surprised Mom and Kathleen on Tuesday night, figuring that Kathleen and I would be able to catch up by staying up a good amount of the night. I have the worst timing though, because when I got home, I found out that Kathleen had gone to Summerfest with her friends and wouldn't be back until midnight. When she got home, we were only able to talk for a little while until she fell asleep. I was disappointed, but we were able to talk and be crazy together the entire next day. After waking up at two in the afternoon (I needed to catch up on my sleep), I quickly got ready to head over to Kelly's house. Kelly and I rarely get a chance to just sit down and have some girl talk, so like I said in the card I gave her, seeing her on her birthday is like a birthday gift for me, not just her. ^__^

I Love My Sparklers

After leaving Kelly's house, I immediately called Shawn to see if he was ready to come over and grill at my house. He was over at my place within a half hour, and he grilled the most amazing steak and barbecue chicken for all of us. Even with Dad not exactly liking Shawn (which is a father and a Filipino thing, meaning that I get a double dose of parental dislike towards my boyfriend), he treated him pretty nicely that day-- probably because Shawn made the food. He crashed on the couch afterwards, giving Kathleen and me the chance to take advantage of all the leftover sparklers we had from last year. We had boxes and boxes of sparklers, more than any other year of my life.

Kathleen and I danced around the front yard taking a good mix of funny and serious photos. The hardest part about taking photos of sparklers is getting them close enough to me without getting too burnt from all the sparks. I think Kathleen and I pulled that trick off pretty well, although, I did hear some complaining coming from Kathleen every once in a while. *giggle* I've never been able to photo log a nostalgic piece of my life like that before so I'm really happy with how they turned out. (The photo to the left makes me look a bit cheeky, but I love the angle-- Kathleen took that one.)

While Shawn had been grilling, I took photos of miscellaneous objects outside: orchids (that Mom made me photograph-- not my idea); Beth's Blythe, Jillian; and my little Laramie. I think taking photos while Shawn grills can be another new tradition that Shawn and I start together for this holiday. Now I have something else to look forward to every year on this day. ^^

Off Center

Flower Aliens

Budding White

Resting Laramie

Lazy Summer Day

The Brights

Experiencing a few weeks of revelation.

Quiet Is Good

I've learned my lesson. I already knew that I wasn't a person who loved to socialize in big groups, but for some reason, I sometimes try too hard to make other people happy... which leads me to do things I know I'm uncomfortable with.

Shawn and I have been dating for almost five years now, and he's sacrificed a lot for me, including time he could spend with other people. Because of this, I've been trying to balance our time alone and the time we spend with other people. We both easily get annoyed with most people (it's true), but he's trying really hard to fit in and do well at his internship-- so part of this means socializing with other interns. Unfortunately, the other interns are party people. They love to go out every night, whether it's a work night or a Friday night, and they love to come back absolutely smashed. Shawn and I just aren't into this scene. I think part of Shawn wants to be, only because he feels left out when the others go out and we stay in. I'm a very introverted person, so the idea of going out with a huge group of mostly drunk people just isn't appealing to me, however, making Shawn happy with his job and his friends means a lot to me. I want him to be happy and to feel comfortable around those he has to work with on a daily basis. Basically, for the past three weeks, I've been trying to sacrifice more of my time to give a little more to our relationship. Plus, that gives me more excuses to spend time with him, even if that means having other people around.

Week 1: There's a nice volleyball court right on campus, so the interns like to go out and play every now and then. I really love playing volleyball, and I know Shawn does, too, so we've joined them a couple of times. Since I hadn't played volleyball in a few years, and because I was no longer up against scrawny high school kids, I wasn't used to the amount of force that goes into hitting and bumping the ball. Before I knew it, my arms were sore, bruised, full of broken blood vessels, and almost unusable. I stayed there, playing, because I'm used to getting a little sore in sports. Sometimes it just takes a few bruises to have some fun, and I don't mind a little pain once in a while-- after all, I was getting exercise. My arms were like that for the rest of the week.

Roonies

Week 2: I guess I didn't take the hint from the previous week. My arms had actually healed by the next Sunday, so Shawn, his roommate, Nick, and I went to do some simple practice bumps outside-- no harm done. This other guy decided to bust out of nowhere and ask if he could play with us. Because we had four people, we figured we would be able to play a small game instead of practicing. After about an hour of playing, I checked my arms to make sure they weren't too beaten up this time. That's when I noticed how something with my hand looked out of place. My knuckle and wrist areas on my right hand was completely swollen and a bone looked twisted in an unnatural way. I immediately called Mom to see what I should do. (Having both parents in the medical field is extremely helpful at times.) Within the next half hour, I was at the Emergency Room at the local hospital getting X-rays and getting a splint put onto my hand. The doctor said I hadn't dislocated or fractured my finger/hand, but it was probably sprained. I ended up taking two days off of work (since I couldn't type) to let my hand heal, and I felt bad about leaving my team with extra work, so I took off my splint two days early. It's healed pretty well since then!

Twinkle

Week 3: Even though Shawn and I had been out with his friends playing volleyball, he still felt a little left out when it came to the weekends-- when all of the interns head out to the bars. I told him I'd go along and hang out with them (since he's always done that for me when I'm with my friends in the past) when they went out on Saturday. I never go outside of what I feel comfortable with as far as alcohol goes, so I only had a little drink after we ate at a restaurant. The night pretty much included: waiting for over an hour for a taxi to pick us up, eating a dinner when I was already too full, going to a bar to watch the interns play drinking games, a boat ride on a polluted river, and then randomly stopping into a club. Finally, we were able to do what I wanted to do: go home and rest. About and hour after Shawn and I went to sleep, we found out we had food poisoning. We were sick for the rest of the night and morning. It was one of the worst nights I've ever had.

Roonies & Meep

I've learned my lesson. As much as I like to make Shawn happy, I'll just let him do his own thing on his own time, and I can join him when I know we'll have fun in a type of way that I'm comfortable with. I've known for years that I'm not a party girl. I love my time spent inside, on the computer, reading a book, watching a movie, or just... relaxing. Going out for a bunch of drinks to the point where I won't remember what happened the previous night just isn't me. Even though I always stayed within my own personal limitations and tried to have fun in a more sociable way, I realized that I'm so much more content not doing any of that stuff at all. I love the quiet and the simple.

Since my three weeks of revelation, I've been taking every day as easy as possible. I fell back into playing Maple Story, which I've come to rely on yet again for relaxation. I've been buying new little outfits for Roonies, which you can see throughout this post. She also has a new friend-- her pet yeti! I've named him Meep (a word that I fell in love with because of my friend, Misty), and he's pretty awesome to have around to train. One night, after playing Maple Story, Beth and I were too awake to go to bed. We stayed up to six in the morning, talking about how we weren't happy with our living situation. The people (mostly students) in our apartment are too obnoxious, and we've been harassed with people ringing our doorbell while we sleep. We're tired of the immature people on campus, so we've decided to look for another building in the area instead. The location may not be as ideal, but we'll be happier in a quieter place with a little more room than this building provides us. We started our apartment hunting today, and we already have a person interested in subleasing the apartment we live in right now.

As if that didn't make life a little more complicated, I just found out that I'll be taking on more hours for work. My schedule will be changing, and I'm looking into going full-time for the rest of vacation. Even what I'll be doing for work will be changing in extreme ways, so I'm a little anxious to see how the next few weeks go with possibly moving and more work.

I feel like such an adult.