My hair is so freaking long now. I'm very tempted to get it cut, but I'm resisting that temptation because I know it will just grow out to be this long by the time classes start up again. Now that I'm earning my own money, I'm beginning to realize why cutting back on "unnecessary expenses" is very, very necessary.
I asked Beth why my hair was growing so fast in such a short amount of time, and she suggested that my birth control pills could be responsible. I'm happy that the pills are helping the pain from my Endometriosis, but I wish some of the side effects could be a little less severe. I've noticed my hair growth rate increasing, weight loss and feelings of horrible nausea early in the morning. The nausea only lasts for about an hour, but the sick feeling is still something I've come to dread. I always try to sleep through it, rather than wake up and sit through it alone.
The hair growth and weight loss are side effects that I've come to deal with, and I don't really mind them. Ever since I switched from the first birth control pills I was on to the brand I take now, I've been much happier and a lot more energetic. (At least, that's what Mom tells me every time she sees me when I go to my parents' house.) The weight loss is something that Shawn's been worrying about lately, but I'm trying to make sure that it doesn't get serious in any way. I don't like it that he has to worry about me in that way.
A little over two years ago, I went through a major life change that affected the way I live-- mentally and physically. I'm not going to go into too many details right now, because I plan on writing a post dedicated to staying healthy in the future. My little "life story" kind of goes along with that post. For now though, I'll just say that a lot has changed in the past two years. I was never "bigger" in any sense, but I did have a little extra weight that was unhealthy for me in an emotional way. I wasn't happy with who I was and I couldn't grasp that fact at the time. After realizing that I needed to make a drastic move, the new, healthy part of me started to slowly take its rightful place in my life. I went from weighing 128 pounds to weighing 104 pounds. The loss of weight was slow, so in no way did I just drop the pounds.
The weight loss was completely unintentional. I never thought I was fat, but now that I look back at those days, I realize that I just wasn't the best person I could have been-- I wasn't happy with who I was, which makes me think I was "fat" with unhappiness. Now that I don't eat greasy or fast food like I did before, and now that I watch what kind of meat I eat, I feel fresh and clean all the time. When I first started taking the birth control pills, my doctor warned me that there was a chance that I'd either gain or lose a few pounds, which made me feel uneasy. The very idea that I would be changing who I was, yet again, just didn't sit well with me, especially since it didn't seem like I'd have control over my own body. After seeing that I have control over how I feel now, I don't feel as threatened by the pills. If anything, I feel more in charge. And I'm definitely in less pain!
Another factor that may be weighing in *chuckle* is the amount of work I've been putting into my life. Never have I been so adament at making sure that I'm kept busy during, what used to be, a vacation time. I grew up spoiled with the idea that Summer break means lazying around the house all day, but now that I actually have life goals for myself, I want to make the best of my time by working towards something I love. Knowing that I get to help maintain an amazing blogging site every day makes me so proud. I'm proud because I finally have a job that I enjoy doing, and I get to use my experiences here to throw myself even further into the adult world-- along with the dream of someday having my own life with Shawn. My future with him is what's keeping me going right now. He gives me reason to want to do well.
That's why I owe a lot to Shawn right now. I recently found out that I will be an official Six Apart employee who works full-time! I've been taking on more and more responsibilities with Vox ever since I started, and even though everything with my job has seemed to go extremely fast, I'm happy to know that I get to incorporate myself even more into the blogging network through such a great company. It's nice knowing that what I'm giving to my team and to Voxers really matters and makes a difference. My main objective right now is to get through the school year and then, hopefully, go full-time for good. (I'll have to cut back on some hours when classes start up, but I still plan on trying to maintain a regular work schedule.)
Knowing that I'm working hard has made me smile more than anyone can imagine, and it's made Beth, Shawn and Mom even more proud of me. That's something that means more to me than... anything. Life is good right now-- busy, but oh-so-good.
I wasn't planning on making another post until my Kawaii event, but as it turns out, the "secret packages" that are on their way to me are taking longer than expected. They should all be here within the next few days. I didn't want to fall out of my good routine of posting, so here I am!